Skip to content

Happy Father’s Day! Now for the worst dad ever.

June 20, 2009

Today is Father’s Day, so I thought it would be useful to write about the worst father ever imagined. I’m talking about Yahweh, so “imagined” is an amusingly appropriate term. Why is he the worst father ever? Let’s take a look at why Yahweh deserves the title of “Worst Dad Ever”:

  • When his children misbehaved he drowned the entire planet, killing 99% of them.
  • He ordered one of his sons to murder his grandson, only telling him it was a joke at the last second.
  • Yahweh also made a deal with another one of his children to kill the first thing that left the man’s house, in order to win a battle, knowing full well ahead of time that it would be the man’s daughter. He did not stop this man and the daughter was slaughtered and burned.
  • He sent another one of his son’s to Earth to be tortured and then murdered so that his own bloodlust could be satisfied. Depending on your theology, he may have also sent this son to Hell to be tortured more for three days.
  • He plays favorites by deliberately showing his power to a select few and then punishing the rest of his kids when they are skeptical of the claims of the handful of kids.
  • He gives infinite punishment to those who are not even able to comprehend infinity, for finite crimes.
  • Lastly, Yahweh also plays the meanest game of hide and seek ever, hiding from his children in such a way that he cannot be found, then sending those children who can’t find him to Hell for eternity.
  1. j912672 permalink
    June 20, 2009 1:54 am

    Sorry you see it that way my friend!

    • Mark permalink
      June 20, 2009 6:38 pm

      Imaginary friends do not make good fathers.

  2. LRA permalink
    June 21, 2009 9:08 am

    Don’t forget Esau– whom God hated in his mother’s womb.

    • Efogoto permalink
      June 21, 2009 8:11 pm

      Is this one of those “history is written by the victors” things? I can imagine Jacob saying “Well, sure, he was born first, but God hated him even before we were born. That’s why it was OK to trick him out of his birthright.”

  3. visitor permalink
    June 22, 2009 9:22 am

    Haha, that was funny – and so true.

    I guess my father deserves a present after all.

  4. Omar permalink
    June 22, 2009 11:55 am

    Have you read the bible? it’s all there :-)

  5. duhsciple permalink
    June 22, 2009 3:51 pm


    Good selection of why I’m not a fundamentalist!!!

    However, there is a way of reading the Bible that leads to a very different understanding of the parenthood of God

    FWIW, I reject the jihah-crusader-holy war god in whatever religious variety (Christian, Jewish, Muslim), and honestly demands that atheists recognize that there are believers who have a very different understanding of G-d

    In a similar way, I come to the defense of atheists who rightly reject ridiculous, evil characterizations of the Deity.

    • June 22, 2009 3:57 pm

      Then you should read my post Requiring Interpretation Proves A Religion False.

  6. June 22, 2009 5:07 pm

    “Lastly, Yahweh also plays the meanest game of hide and seek ever, hiding from his children in such a way that he cannot be found, then sending those children who can’t find him to Hell for eternity.”

    This is perhaps the best way I’ve heard this put in a long time. It is also one of many reasons I was able to leave my faith behind and not turn back. I still can’t believe I thought this was good thing for so long!

    Enjoying your blog!

  7. thane stroop permalink
    June 22, 2009 5:17 pm

    Since faith is subjective and not objective, you dont actually have to agree that you are “interpreting” a religious text. You just need to believe that within stories there is truth. To that end you only need have faith that you can see the “truth”. We grow and develop through faith, some might say hope or ignorance in replacement of faith. We take chances throughout our lives and with our lives. When we choose not to know more of a situation, but plod through, it is called ignorance. When we are forced to decide, without knowledge, it is called hope. Without personal insight to others minds we should leave it as just faith. But people are still flawed and have rationalized their experiences, and they must, the real world with all of its dangers and needs, grants little respite to most of the world’s people. Faith and logic are juxtopposed, the one ends where the other begins. They must first accept that their interpretation is not the only real understanding, and then they must accept that another persons logic is better than their own faith in learning the true meaning of life, at this point logic fails because they have not already accepted logic as a spiritual guide for whatever reason. Arguements of logic are useful to those already searching, comfortable faith will not be influenced.

  8. June 22, 2009 11:33 pm

    It’s a shame that you take a joyous occasion, Father’s Day, as the opportunity for a vicious, hate-filled assault on Our Father, which art in Heaven.

    On Mother’s Day, do you target Mary?

    What do you do on Independence Day, skewer Free Will? And Christmas, is that when you honor abortionists?

    • June 23, 2009 12:07 am

      You know, I haven’t thought of those ideas yet but now you’ve got my gears turning!

      BTW: From what the bible says I’m not really the one dishing out hate here. Killing 99% of the world and condemning anyone who doesn’t agree with your mob boss to an eternity of torture is quite hateful.

  9. J.T. Winterson permalink
    June 24, 2009 12:28 am

    Said the fish: “Water?! What is this water you people keep talking about? I see no water!”

    At least Christians know who their father is.

    • June 24, 2009 1:13 am

      Oh ho ho! You sure got me, Mr. Winterson. I have no idea who my dad is. It couldn’t possibly be the guy who impregnated my mother?!

  10. Phlox permalink
    July 7, 2009 1:00 pm

    With a father like that, no wonder the children seem to be all messed up. :P


  1. The Worst Father Ever Imagined | Unreasonable Faith
  2. Father's Day Attack on Our Father! | Paliban Daily

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: