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The Truth About Me

April 1, 2009

I can’t do this anymore, I don’t have the time nor the will power to keep this lie up. I am a fundamentalist Christian. I am a pastor for a local church in Belleville and I wanted to see first hand how sinful you God haters are and what plans you had to hurt our God fearing nation. You haven’t disappointed me! I figured I would have been caught by now but I guess I’m better at acting than I thought.

Listen to me:

I’m begging all of you atheists, agnostics, Hindus, or whatever else to just look into your heart and realize the love of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. If you let him and repent for your sins you can live forever in the paradise of Heaven. If not you will burn in Hell for all eternity. All you have to do is read the Holy Bible with an open heart and mind and you will see the truth! God loves you and wants you with him in Heaven but you have to take the first step!

Now that I’ve got your attention:

Just kidding. Happy April Fools!

Also go take a look at today.

  1. April 1, 2009 2:09 am

    Egads! You horrible man. You had me going there for a moment. Grr.

    Okay, it was pretty good :P

  2. April 1, 2009 7:10 am

    You didn’t have me going but I thought about removing your blog from my list out of principle. = o

    – Schev

    • April 1, 2009 10:37 am

      Well of course I didn’t have YOU going. We kind of know each other in real life, duh.

      • April 1, 2009 10:55 am

        SHH! You’re not supposed to TELL them!

      • April 1, 2009 2:02 pm

        Oh oops..

  3. April 1, 2009 10:43 am

    No fundamentalist Christian pastor would do such a fine job imitating an atheist (as we all know from recent events).

    • April 1, 2009 2:02 pm

      Thanks, I think.

  4. kolys permalink
    April 2, 2009 9:29 am

    *grins* Nice job.

    BTW – wanted to get your opinion on this article when you have some time.

  5. April 2, 2009 5:13 pm

    very droll

    have to agree with James, your past posts have been to intellectual for any fundie to have written. :)

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